How to Successfully Have a Nanny When You Work at Home

Hello, from Lone Star Nannies!

If you Google “how to have a nanny when you work at home,” you’ll see some recurring topics emerge from all the online conversation. While the advice is practical, our experiences with families have taught us that no family is the same and every situation is different. Knowing (theoretically) the importance of setting boundaries is great, but how do you know where to start? There are always challenges to working in the same space, but it’s a fairly recent phenomenon for that space to be your own home. It takes time to figure out what works best, so don’t be discouraged if some days have been stressful! When a nanny gets past our twelve step vetting process, we know they’re professional and are going to love your kids.

There’s an incomparable web of roles when a nanny is in your home, and the most challenging aspect of merging work and home life can be teaching your little ones how to separate them on a daily basis. Yes, you are the boss of the house but, with time, your kids will learn that as you report to your boss during the day, they get to enjoy all the benefits that come with a loving caretaker. In this blog post, we took some of the most common topics referenced when navigating the blurred lines of working at home with a nanny and added a few of our own. We hope these ideas provide greater clarity and encourage everyone living out their calling in your home. 

Setting Expectations

We all recognize the importance of setting expectations before developing a working relationship, but if this is your first time using a nanny agency, there may be questions you may have never even thought to ask! We all experience this when we start something new. Setting expectations regarding the work day sounds easy until you walk into the kitchen to grab a snack and your child is crying and wants to talk to you. This is where the lines start to get blurry. In addition to expectations regarding social media, screen time, and foods to eat or avoid, consider talking out expectations with scenarios and hypothetical situations before they arise. If you foresee your passionate daughter getting upset and running to your office, play that situation out with your nanny and talk about what would be the best course of action. You know your children best, and your nanny has a big heart to understand and serve them. Role playing scenarios with your nanny and children could help head off any potential struggles. Your children will also be equipped with what to say or do when the situation arises. If something happens you didn’t foresee, sit down with your kids and their nanny and role play it together. The next time siblings are fighting over a toy and one wants justice by calling on mom or dad, everyone will already have a game plan. 

Establishing Relationships 

If you walk into a used book store, you’ll find countless shelves of books about relationships - including work relationships. The bottom line with relationships between nannies and families is that the kids need to know that you trust the nanny. You’ve entrusted them into her care, and you have utmost confidence in her ability to do the job. While you may not realize it, your actions speak volumes to children and nannies. It’s always better to speak with a nanny about problems when the children are not present. This allows you to meet one on one and develop a plan together. Similar to when an administrator walks into a classroom and interacts with a teacher, your kids need to hear you speak positively about their caretaker. If students lose confidence in a teacher, it increases issues with classroom management. Your nanny needs you to speak positively into the home situation. You have the power to create a life-giving work culture because, at the end of the day, you are the boss…and no one likes a boss who doesn’t trust them to get the job done. 

Of course, there are always reasons for concern that would require you to terminate a relationship with a nanny. If you suspect there is a major opportunity with your current nanny, please reach out to us at info@lonestarnannies.com - we’re here to help you walk away from those worries! 

Creating a Schedule 

Working with your nanny to develop a daily routine is one of the best ways to develop relationships. Learning likes, dislikes, and needs gives nannies a starting point for relating to your kids and gives you an opportunity to watch your nanny use her gifts to the full. Depending on your personality, it may help to print out a checklist of daily activities or post a to do list in the kitchen. You decide how structured you want time to be with your kids, but it helps to have them written or visually displayed. Your kids will have a clear understanding of what each day looks like and your nanny can reference it for them when they have questions. If you’re not much of a planner, let your nanny craft up a potential schedule and share it with you. There are some pretty creative nannies out there with a back pocket of ideas to share in your home! 

Teaching Communication Skills

All children are learning how to communicate. Having a nanny in the home is a great way to help them develop phrases for what they need. Learning to work through emotions and use words is going to be one of the primary struggles for children with parents who work from home. They may want the parent to handle their problems or speak for them. This is another opportunity for you to equip your kids with a toolbox of ways to handle conflict. If a child wants to communicate with mom or dad during the day, you can provide an outlet, such as a journal, where they can write a letter or get thoughts on paper. Having a designated place in the house for “heart talks” (like a rug or a corner of the room) could help girls express their feelings to a sibling, or maybe you have some rowdy boys who don’t want to use words at all and would rather release some energy outside. Learning how to communicate is a life-long process, so don’t be too hard on yourself as you figure out how to help your kids start the journey. There are lots of great resources out there, but one of the best is learning from moms or dads a few years farther down the road.

Explaining Why 

For some families, it might help to give kids an explanation for why parents need to have time alone during work hours. Understanding the purpose and value of work could be a good starting point. We all have to do work in life! Kids have to do chores and homework while moms and dads have to make spreadsheets or phone calls. When kids know that their parents love them and are removing themselves during the day for logical reasons, it might help encourage them to value the purpose of their own work. Deep down, kids just want to be loved…and knowing that the work day is for parents to provide for them could be another missing piece to the puzzle of successfully working from home. 

If you’re thinking about welcoming a nanny into your lives, give us a call! Onboarding can feel like an overwhelming process, but we’re here to help. There are so many great nannies out there ready to support you and love your kids! We’re here to help make the connections.

With care,

Lone Star Nannies